by Shantanee, MYDolceDiet.com Member
Figured I’d give this a go….
Oftentimes, I find myself wondering why I’ve failed so many times at this weight loss business. The end-all, be-all to my miserable existence. Dramatic? Possibly, but its been a life-long problem. It didn’t surface a few years ago, or even a few months ago, it’s ALWAYS been a problem. It’s been THE problem.
Even as a kid, the constant ridicule at grade school as well as home, made eating a comfort for me, and the pounds added up. I was never pushed to play any sports, hell even discouraged from even bothering on my own in High School. Why bother? Ya know, I wouldn’t be any good at them! Learned behavior. The worst possible learned behavior imaginable.
Nothing has ever panned out. Everything I have ever done has been met with a half-ass approach or no approach at all. The confidence of loving the way you look and feel hadn’t been present up until a year ago. I would go through cycles of years of, lose ten pounds, gain back 15, get frustrated, and give up. That was my life. I was used to failure and misery, and its comfortable for me. Even now sometimes, it is.
Once I hit my heaviest weight (272), I was pretty bummed to say the least. I went back into my lose weight, gain it back, get frustrated, and give up cycle yet again. Because I love to torture myself. Oddly enough, my cycle was repeated, but a lot more disciplined. Still not the best plan, but better nonetheless.
Two years had passed, and I would get compliments about losing weight, all the time! People would ask “How much weight have you lost?” I would respond with “Not sure, about 20 pounds or so.” The compliments came in waves, and I’d brush them off. I didn’t notice like everyone else did.
After a year and a half, I’d finally weight myself…51 pounds lost.
I refused to even believe that me with my track record, could even pull that off. I didn’t take much pride in it, because it wasn’t like me to really accomplish anything this significant. And it wasn’t the 120 pounds I want to lose, so it didn’t matter.
Fifty pounds is a HUGE deal! I realized over time that I’m not afraid of falling on my face, or failing. I’m afraid of success itself. I’m afraid to experience a world where I can have all the things I want out of life. I don’t know what’s that’s like. AT ALL! They’ve always seemed so unattainable before.
I still have zero idea how I did it, and I knew if I wanted to lose more weight and keep this weight off, I needed a different plan, and to make it a lifestyle change…That’s why I’m here. (at MyDolceDiet.com). It was suggested to me via twitter, but I wasn’t sure I was ready, so I waited months to give the Dolce Diet a go.
Months later and 13 pounds down, I can’t ignore the difference it’s made on my life. Not just how I look, but how I feel. Doesn’t come without some self-sabotage though. I am guilty of standing in my own way sometimes, but I’m changing and growing more everyday.
I’m not used to this kind of relentless positivity, a wonderful support system, or feeling like I can actually do this. It’s new and it’s scary as hell, but I’m just gonna try my best to do what it takes, to be the best me I can…Gosh that’s cheesy! Ha! Something else I learned from that Dolce dude… 😉
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